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Sunday, August 21, 2011

The lost dream or a new hope?

when I see the sky, I find no light
were the decisions wrong or was the moment not right
l am so confused that I laugh one time and other time I cry
and nobody understands that, as the tears have also gone dry
what was that I aimed for, what was the dream
I keep asking myself this question, I hopelessly scream
they say find a path, find a way
but the weight of failure once again scare me away
where are those wishes, where is that hope
I find like running away and search for a place to elope
but then I close my eyes and think over again
realises that this what losers say to gain
m not loser, I will decide my fate
I will be the master of my unconquerable soul whatever it may take
the sun will shine again after rain
there will be success all around which will take away the pain

ps: I m no good at poems…it’s my first one on the blog..just some random thoughts..apologies for any mistake

Monday, August 15, 2011


This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.

As she was painting with a continuous smile on her face, she thought of the old times when her freedom was ruled by others and the suffocation she used to suffer. She thought of her father and the others who were always a misery in her life. They always said they love her, but at her heart she knew they wanted to incarcerate her in the barriers of life. But then she smirked thinking she accomplished her freedom and none of them could now ever impede in the success of her life.

She did not even have any last memory of her father and after all, why should any be there after what he did to her. He always interrupted in her dating men, going to clubs and said her paintings were meaningless. He never supported her. She remembered once she was talking to her friends in her room when his father came and said “no one is here in the room. Whom are you talking to?” She knew he lied and was finding reasons to mock at her. She knew he never understood her and wanted her to be deprived of all the joys in life. He used to say “I care for you princess and you are free to do anything”. Free? She never was, it was just for the sake of saying it and thus her father deserved to punished and killed. Her freedom had to be taken away from him when it was not given.

When she thought her ideas could be finally expressed and she could live on her own terms, her lover started to interfere. He always kept her asking “are you fine? Are you missing your father? Don’t worry. I am there with you” and then she started thinking of him as a stalker. He always wanted to know everything about her and never leave her alone. He said he did not approve of her “imaginary” friends and must consult a doctor. He kept following her many times and said he did so to make sure she was well.  He said “I am concerned and care for you. You are free to do anything”. But she knew it was never so. He just wanted to take away her freedom from her. Those were just some words as used by his father. She started hating him, he did not understand her choices in her life and so he had to be killed.

But those were not actually any loss in her life as she had got her freedom back and freedom was her right. She could now live the way she wished for and paint the walls of her house. There was no barrier to her thoughts and there was no stupid fellow watching her all the time. She had new friends everyday and they always did whatever she asked for. But looking at the four walls around her, she started to think she still did not like one man. He used to come every day to her house and say all her world was an imagination. He said “this was a psychiatric care centre you are living in. you have killed your father and your lover. We are here to help you and you will be treated soon if you help us”. She thought he was imprudent and did not understand her freedom. Then she looked at her painting all over the walls 

and thought “I will kill him soon and make him realise that I am free to do whatever I wish for. I will be finally free” and she smiled silently.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Happy Independence Day!